She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
