the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
