Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
