Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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