im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
