taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
