This is not my ceiling
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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