He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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