grandma shit on top of the toilet
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
