Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
