I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
