If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
