Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
this hospital has no fireball
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
