I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
how drunk are you?
Several
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
