Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
