I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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