had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
