I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
