Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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