I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
