She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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