its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize