What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
