Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize