so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
