just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
