I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Everything about him screamed your future.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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