i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
