My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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