My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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