oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
