I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
