id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
