were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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