Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
