Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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