he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
