Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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