That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
