I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
