Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
