Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
