I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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