it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
