Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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