My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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