I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
