my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
