I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
