Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
