I wish life had little blips of pornography
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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