I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
