I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think a kid would responsible me up
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
