I think my fart just growled at me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
