"it" just moved
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
