There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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