i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
