my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
