I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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